I Am Not A Project To Perfect

The quiet power of choosing yourself

This has been the hardest lesson—and the most important concept—I’ve had to learn since becoming a mom.

All my life, I was taught to do your best, good is not enough, great is the only way, go big or go home, fake it till you make it. The list goes on. But every one of these sayings shares the same underlying message:

You are not enough.

When I became a mother, I learned quickly that trying to raise a baby under the pressure of perfection sets you up for failure. Parenthood is unpredictable and so much of it is beyond your control. Striving to “get it all right” only leads to burnout, guilt, and disconnection.

Perfection breeds competition. Love becomes conditional—toward yourself and others—because you’re too busy hiding your flaws, stretching past your limits, and biting off more than you can chew.

What I’ve discovered is that underneath every perfectionist—mother or otherwise—lies a deep well of insecurity. A fear of being seen as not enough. Of being found out. Of being “exposed” or what they call it “suffering from imposter syndrome”. So we stop asking for help. We try to do it all alone.

Because deep down, we’re not sure we even deserve help. We’re not sure we deserve to be cared for.

And to silence the old, unhealed wounds of guilt and shame from childhood, we overcompensate: “I have to be the best mom, the perfect wife, the unstoppable businesswoman, the most supportive friend, the warmest host, the funnest social butterfly…”

But does it ever really end? Does it ever really feel enough? This self-made image of the perfect human is not only unrealistic—it’s exhausting.

But it’s also common. And it’s valid. And the good news is: it doesn’t have to be this way. We can start to meet ourselves with more compassion. We can begin to rewrite the story. We can choose “good enough”—not as a failure, but as a form of freedom.

We can choose to see our limits, our insecurities, and the parts of ourselves we often neglect—and decide what we want to do with them. We can accept them. We can sit with them. And we can be okay with whatever choice we make—knowing that nothing is permanent, and we can always change our minds.

We can also choose to change. To work—really, really hard—to shift the parts of ourselves we’re ready to outgrow. And even then, the work doesn’t end.

It continues, gently or forcefully, quietly or loudly, in big seasons and small moments— Until our very last day here. So today I remind myself that “good enough” is enough.

- Love

PK